Thursday, 15 January 2009

• Currently Twilight (The Twilight Saga, Book 1) By Stephenie Meyer see related

  Stresses in the Life of the Military Wife

  
  

              As the mother of two beautiful girls, a full time college student, a home maker, and the wife of a United States Marine, stress is a major part of my life. There are always too many tasks to do and not enough time. So, all in all, the combination of everything, I was completely stressed out. I was looking for ways to deal with the small, mundane stresses of a housewife's life, when I was told, rather forcefully, that normal stress relief might not work for me. I am not a normal housewife. So while in search of a 'new' stress relief tool, I spoke to the one person I truly trust, apart from my husband. My therapist suggested blogging. So here I am.
  

               Let me start out by clarifying something. My therapist is someone to vent at, talk to and confide in. I do not see a therapist because I have any mental illness, although my husband would disagree with that, but because I want to. It is a time where I do not have to worry about the kids, or if William, my husband, forgot his lunch. It is simply a time for me. We sit there and chat like old friends most of the time anyway. Besides, through the Morale Wellness program, therapy is a free service provided to service members and their dependents. I mean, seriously, let's face it. For most military members and spouses this is a necessary service.
  

               Which brings me to the stresses of the life of a military wife. As I sit here typing this, I am alone. Right now, my husband is just at work, but being a Marine Corps wife, being completely alone is something that I had to get used to very very quickly. My husband was not military when we got married. He joined the Marine Corps about a month and a half into our marriage, with my full support. He was gone at that point for 13 weeks, 'playing in paradise' as he says, aboard Parris Island, SC. He graduated boot camp in July of 2006, and came home for 10 days. He then went to Camp Geiger, NC for a short 23 training exercise. Followed by 9 weeks in Fort Leonard Wood, or Fort Lost in the Woods as it is joking called, MO. That 9 week training turned into 13,. but he was then stationed at MCAS New River, in Jacksonville NC. That is when I moved away from the small town environment that I had been determined to raise my children in. The move from Graceville FL to Jacksonville NC was a hard one, but I did it, with lots of help from my in laws. Not long after the move, I gave birth to our second daughter, and he deployed. I moved again....this time, I moved voluntarily on base. He returned from deployment on Valentine's Day of last year....and is leaving again sometimes in the next few weeks. For an extended deployment.
  

  
  

                  Everyday of my life is ruled by,'Is he going to get that call today?' The call that says, 'pack it up, we're gone!' And when that call comes, I have to put on a smile, and be excited for him. Because he is excited, he is going to do something good, right. This is what he has trained for. And then you stand there watching him load his sea bags on the bus, knowing that that is all he has for the next 7+ months, watching him as he slaps his Corporal on the back, laughing and joking, savoring every smile because it may be the last one you ever see. Then someone yells 'Form up!', and he stands in formation with the men and women that he is trusting his life to, trusting to watch his back, and to bring him back if it all goes bad. They stand there and get there little pep talk, ' We will do our part to the best of our ability, and by God, we will get it done. We will make it home with everyone we make it there with. Marines, this is what you have been trained for, this is what you do. Let's do it.' Then he gets 5 minutes. Five little bitty tiny minutes to say goodbye to the most important person in your life. Knowing that once he steps on that bus you may never see him again. And you still have to smile. And you have to wave. And you have to let him go, without seeing your tears. Marine Corps wives have the toughest jobs in the Corps....we have to let them go. Then once they are gone, and you think that you are going to be able to break down, finally, you look in the eyes of your children. And realize that your job is not done. They are holding onto their tears, because you are ok. They trust you to know that Daddy will be back. So you hold it in, take them for ice cream, and smile. Telling them that every minute is one minute closer to the time when Daddy will be home.
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

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